Islamic Ethics

IN REGARD TO PARENTS

 

Each and everyone of us had or is having an experience unique to himself, in that he lives his own way with his own family. Because each family has its own special circumstances and its own special conditions, so each of us had his own specific unique experience that is different from anyone else’s.

 

Yet all of us share the warmth and love our parents give us, and all of us have the good fortune of having parents who protect us, provide for us, teach us, guide us and act in the best of our welfare. Therefore, the position of the family and its integrity in Islam holds special honors.

 

See what Almighty God has said in the Quran:

 

وَ وَصَینا الاِنسانَ بِوالدَیهِ

 

حَمَلتهُ اُمُهُ وَهناً علی وَهنٍ وَ فِصالُهُ فی عامَینِ اَن اشکُر لی وَ لِوالِدیکَ الیَ المَصیرُ

 

“AND WE HAVE ENJOINED UPON MAN TO BE GOOD TO HIS PARENTS. IN WEAK NESS DID HIS MOTHER BEAR HIM AND IN TOW YEARS IS HIS WEANING. SHOW GRATITUDE TO ME AND TO YOUR PARENTS.”

 

(AL Quran XXXI-14)

 

وَ بِالوالدَینِ اِحساناً وَذِی القُربی وَالیَتا می وَالمساکینِ

 

وَ قولوا لِلناسِ حُسنا

 

“BE KIND TO YOUR PARENTS AND KINDRED AND THE ORPHANS, AND THOSE IN NEED, AND SPEAK KINDLY TO MANKIND.”

 

(AL –Quran II-83)

 

وَ بِالوالدَینِ اِحساناً اِما یَبلُغنَ عِندَکَ الکِبَرَ اَحَدُهُما

 

او کلا هما فلا تقل لهما اف ولا تنهر لهما و قل لهما قولا

 

کریما(24) وَ اخفِض لَهُما جَناحَ الذُلِ مِنَ الرَحمَةِ وَ قُل رَبِ ارحَمهُما کَما رَبَیا نیِ صَغِیراً

 

“AND YOU BE KIND TO THE PARENTS. WHEN ONE OR BOTH OF THEM ATTAIN OLD AGE IN YOUR LIFE, SAY NOT TO THEM A HARSH WORD NOR SCOLD THEM, BUT ADDRESS THEM IN TERMS OF HONOR. AND OUT OF KINDNESS, LOWER TO THEM THE WING OF HUMILITY AND SAY, “MY LORD! BESTOW ON THEM MERCY GUST AS THEY CHERISHED ME IN CHILDHOOD.”

 

(AL-Quran XVII -23)

 

Our parents spend a great deal of time and energy in raising us, I am sure you agree. They worry about us, they take have accumulated, they spend their money and their energy for a long time to support us, until we grow up to be independent.

 

So, this becomes like a huge debt we owe to them. In return for this, the Holy Quran is specific in commanding us to be very very good and kind to our parents. Out of love, and out of respect; out of gratitude, and out of appreciation, we are to do our best to help them, and to love them, to support them, and to be especially of help when they need us badly, that is to say, when they become very old, sick or be in financial need.

 

See what God’s Messenger; Muhammad (P.B.U.H) has said:

 

جاءَ رَجُلٌ فقالَ : یا رَسُولُ الله مَن اَحَقَ

 

بِحُسنِ صحابتی؟ قالَ : اُمُکَ قال: ثُمَ مَن؟ قال:

 

اُمُکَ قالَ ثُمَ مَن ؟ قالَ اُمُکَ. قال: ثُمَ مَن؟ قالَ: ثُمَ اَبوکَ

 

“A MAN SAKEN ‘O MESSENGER OF GOD, WHO IS THE PERSON WHO HAS THE GREATEST CLAIM ON ME WITH REGARD TO GOOD COMPANY?’ THE PROPHET REPLIED: YOUR MOTHER’. THE MAN THEN ASKED ‘WHO THEN?’ THE PROPHET REPEATED ‘YOUR MOTHER’. THE MAN ASKED AGAIN ‘WHO THEN? THE PROPHET ANSWERED FOR THE THIRD TIME ‘YOUR PROPHET ANSWERED: ‘YOUR FATHER”.

 

“HEAVEN LIES AT THE FEET OF THE MOTHERS.”

 

“A MAN IS BOUND TO DO GOOD TO HIS PARENTS, ALTHOUGH THEY MAY HAVE HURT HIM.”

 

“HE WHO WISHES TO ENTER PARADISE THROUGH THE BEST DOOR, MUST PLEASE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER.”

 

“But what specific things can we do to repay our moral obligations to our parents?

 

It all depends, and each one of us has a different situation in his family than anyone else. Such qualities as helping at home, studying well enough and behaving nicely, are well appreciated by all parents. But as we grow and as they grow, their demands and requirements change, and so do we. That is why we are to try to fill the demands as best as we can, whatever those demands happen to be. We ought to obey them of course, yet we can retain a healthy degree of independence of thought.

 

We are to respect them naturally and they will appreciate that very much. We are to be kind and gentle to them, especially when they may need us badly as when they are sick, very old, or in monetary need.

 

To oppose our parents, to argue with them, to correct them in front of people, to condemn them, are points of poor taste that we ought to avoid. Islam prohibits us from that.

 

In other words we owe them so very much. No wonder Prophet Muhammad said that Heavens Lies at the feet of the mothers; just to show you how important it is to please the parents especially the mothers.

 

A Good Muslim Will Remember:

 

1.      The closest and dearest people to him are his mother and father.

 

2.      Out of gratitude to them, he is to honor them and love them.

 

3.      He is ordered to help them even if they had hurt him.

 

4.      He should especially help when they grow old and become dependent on him.

 

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